Starry-eyed Optimism

#52: Attend Chicago Pride with Joe

2007-06-30T22:24:00.000-07:00

I didn't know what I was getting myself into when I agreed to go to Chicago Pride with Joe. All I knew was that it worked out too perfectly to NOT go: I had the time off, it was right in between our birthdays, airfair through Southwest was ridiculously cheap and Joe had a place I could crash at.

What I got myself into was a weekend long blur filled with gyrating boys, lots of screaming, lots of laughing, beautiful people, delicious food, an over-the-top parade that was a feast for the eyes, more condoms than I have ever seen, more memories than I could care to explain, crowds filled with mostly naked people, more long islands than I have ever seen in a lifetime and too many photos taken to document the chaos.

In other words? It was the time of our lives.

#75: Send Out a Message in a Bottle

2007-06-21T13:15:00.000-07:00

The idea of a message in a bottle seems very romantic to me. The idea that someone has taken the time to write down their thoughts or hopes or dreams and send it out without any idea if anyone will see it appeals to me. Perhaps because it's so old-fashioned. Or becauce there is an element of drama in it.

To commemorate our six-month anniversary, John and I sent out our very own message in a bottle when we were in Traverse City. We liked the idea of it somehow finding it's way to Chicago after being tossed around in the waves for months or maybe years.

And what was the message that was sent? Only two people in this world know. Or maybe three if some lucky person has found it by now...

#9: Apply to Grad School

2007-04-21T21:43:00.000-07:00

Grad school wasn't an original goal of mine. I didn't go through my undergraduate career thinking that it was paving the way for two or more years of intense study. On the contrary I thought that I would be totally set once that I had my Bachelor's Degree.

And I would have been. Except I couldn't find a job that made me feel fulfilled or excited. And I kept thinking about the amazing times that I had at NMU and how much those experiences made me the person that I became. Random memories from my college years would float through my mind during achingly long afternoons in the office and I would yearn for those days. It got me thinking that perhaps there was more. That maybe there was something out there for me.

Once I spoke to my friend who was in the Student Affairs program at Michigan State I knew what I needed to do; I knew where I wanted to be. Suddenly my path in life was a little less blurry: I wanted to go back to school to help students who were going to college.

While finding the letters of reference and writing a personal statement weren't exactly challenging, actually finding the strength to submit my application was. I filled out the forms online, but before I could click "submit" doubts filled my mind. "What if I don't get in? Then what? You want this so much--what if they say no?" My hand shook as I clicked the button. When the confirmation page popped up a wave of relief washed over me. It was out of my hands--now it was up to a committee who would hopefully see how passionate I was about it.

It took a few months, but on April 18, 2007 I got the official word: I was the newest addition to the Student Affairs program at MSU!

#18: host a fondue party

2006-12-30T08:29:00.000-08:00

I love fondue. Loooooove fondue. If I could, I would eat fondue for every meal. However, there's no such thing as pancake fondue...yet. So I reserve the fondue-love for special occasions.

Christmas is a special time. Christmas 2006 was a special time, indeed. For my friends were treated to cheesy fondue and lots (and lots!) of delicious drinks. Just because I loved them.

It feels good to let people know how much they are loved sometimes. And nothing says "I appreciate your friendship" like a piece of crusty french bread dripping with sharp cheddar fondue. And nothing beats a holiday feast seasoned with laughter, silliness and a lot of love.

#78: Go Three Days Without the Internet

2006-11-30T19:00:00.000-08:00

Gah. And gah again.

I am ADDICTED to the internet. I compulsively check my email--like ten times a day. I love love LOVE the internet. If I had a choice between the internet and cable television, I'd choose the world wide web in a heartbeat.

HowEVER. It's pretty damn easy to go without the internet when your beloved laptop makes a "ggggghhhhhhhhh" sound and the screen dies, followed quickly by the rest of the machine.

So not only did I go for three days without the internet, I went weeks on end without checking my email and watching Strongbad videos.

And let me tell you--it's not so much fun. But at least I know I can do it.

#71: Attend a Wine Tasting

2006-11-19T21:58:00.000-08:00

I am a big fan of wine. I think it tastes splendid and I like collecting the pretty wine bottles. (And we'll just keep the fact that I may or may not select wine based on the bottles our little secret.) However, I don't know a lot about wine or how it's made or what exactly the different flavors are.

That changed one sunny fall afternoon when Chrissy and I embarked on a journey to Uncle John's Cider Mill. While it's called a cider mill, there is a fabulously cute winery hidden in one of the barns there. And that is why we went--not for cider but for alcohol. As did many other people because there was a line to taste the fruits. But it was well worth it.

Our bartender explained the differences in red and white, dry and sweet. I stuck to the white wines since they weren't as dry, but Chrissy sampled reds and whites, dries and sweet. All were so good. The best was an apple wine with a touch of cinnamon; it was a perfect fall wine. We each took home a bottle as a souvenir as well as new-found knowledge and appreciation of the art that is wine-making.

#98: learn a poker face and bluff my way through one game

2006-11-03T18:41:00.000-08:00

It is no secret that I suck at lying. It is physically impossible for me to lie. Really! If I lie I start to giggle. It's like I'm thinking in my head "hehehehee! I'm totally lying and getting away with it! I am soooo good!"

Thus, the giggling begins. And the jig is then up.

The point of this goal was to see if I could even do this. I didn't think that I could. And neither did half of my friends.

On Halloween night, a rambunctios game of poker began, starring Becky, Chris (Becky's other half), Sarah, Lisa and I. It started with a challenge from Chris to me. He didn't think that I could win a hand against him.

This time when I lied? My thought process went like this: "don't smile don't smile don't smile and do NOT GIGGLE. You. Can. Do. This. Go girl!"

Three very good hands and three quarters of the chips later, he folded, I won my fourth hand against him and raked in the whole lot.

Mission very well accomplished.

#90: Visit Mackinac Island

2006-07-31T21:03:00.000-07:00

Joe wanted to celebrate my 24th birthday in a special way. He wanted to make it my best birthday yet. The way that he figured it would be the most memorable? By removing me from my comfy bed and placing me in the middle of the woods for a weekend of camping.

I am not an outdoor-sy kind of girl. I love the indoors. It would take a lot to get me to agree to sleeping in a tent on the hard ground on my birthday weekend. Because I really love my bed. And my air conditioning.

Joe knew the magic words though. "We'll visit Mackinac Island!"

And with that I packed my essentials (which included makeup and my curling iron, FYI) and spent the weekend in a tent on the hard ground. Because we spent all of Saturday on beautiful Mackinac Island, treading along the shorelines, sampling many different kinds of fudge and bar-hopping from pub to pub with reunited friends.

It was my best birthday ever.

#28: Send a Secret into PostSecret

2006-07-15T23:16:00.000-07:00

PostSecret is one of my favorite websites. Every Sunday I wake up and do a little squeal in my mind because I know that new secrets will be posted. I admire the courage of the people who send in their secrets. I never thought I'd have anything juicy enough to send in.

Then I met someone who pissed me off. He affected me in a way I didn't think any guy could. And that fact pissed me off. And helped me get creative.

And so yesterday I made up my own PostSecret postcard. And dropped it in the mailbox. And pissed off I have not felt since.

This is one amazing site.

#85: Move Out of the U.P.

2006-07-01T20:37:00.000-07:00

The hardest thing about moving wasn't the packing up of all of my things or the logistics of moving two girls from two different areas to one very new, very scary bigger city or even the eight hours of driving behind a U-Haul. The hardest thing about moving out of the U.P. was saying goodbye.

It took three tries before I could semi-successfully say farewell to my sister. The sheer enormity of hugging her for what could be the last time in a very long time hit me as I drove along the lakeshore of Lake Superior. I bawled my way through the drive on US 41 and US 2.

I didn't realize it would be so hard.

I miss being close to a massive body of water. I miss being five minutes from NMU. I miss going anywhere and recognizing at least five people from classes or events.

The move was well-worth it as I have a good job, a small but firm circle of friends and a fabulous apartment in a quiet area of town. But this goal proved to be my hardest yet as I didn't realize how difficult it would be to leave the only area I've ever known as home.

#1: Bowl while drunk

2006-06-29T21:38:00.000-07:00

An equation....

30 or so fabulous Target co-workers

+

An Ishpeming bowling alley overtaken by said co-workers (and moi!)

+

An impromptu party thrown to bid farewell to me and Tara, a fellow Target employee

+

Loads of liquor

=?

The accomplishment of goal #1!!!!

Thanks to all of my wonderful friends at Target that made this goal attainable. And hella fun. I miss you all so SO much. Mwah!

#25: Get a tattoo with my sister

2006-05-18T22:24:00.000-07:00

Katy and I had talked about getting tattoos for a while. We joked about it. Joking turned to serious talks as I talked about moving away from home. She made me pinky-swear and then solemnly swear to get matching tattoos before I bid au revoir to Marquette.

I never fully intended on going through with the promise. I hate pain! Like I'd subject myself to it voluntarily.

The idea was tempting, though. My sister and I having matching three-star tattoos on our shoulders. A symbol of the solidarity of our family bond. The idea of the two of us sharing something that nobody else in the world had was appealing. Plus I liked the idea of having a tale to tell. Of being able to say "yeah, I got a tattoo. I dealt with the pain because I wanted it so bad."

I had contemplated inking myself since I was seventeen. At twenty-three, on the verge of a new chapter in my life, the contemplating was done. I'd made a promise to my sister and myself.

#3: See RENT onstage...again

2006-05-14T21:35:00.000-07:00

The first time I saw RENT onstage was in New York City. The first moment that the actors stepped on the stage and the first lines were uttered, I fell in love. Love turned into obsession as I listened to the soundtrack day after day and tracked the progress of the movie. It amazes me to this day that something can so clearly and eloquently express how I feel about life, love and friendship. This musical that Jonathan Larson has penned is a beautiful work of art that inspires me to live life to the fullest each and every day.

I was afraid that I wouldn't adore the play as much a second time. The first time a person sees it live, it just reaches out and twists the emotions and leaves one going out of the theater with the jaw agape. It stays with people. It's certainly stayed with me. I feared that seeing it again wouldn't be as amazing. But my love/obsession with it was deeper than my fear. The touring cast was doing a two-week stint in Chicago; I was determined to be there.

Any fears I had were laid to rest when I stepped foot in the Cadillac Palace Theater and saw the stage setup: the balcony where MiMi croons "Out Tonight," the twisted lights that make for Angel's Christmas tree, the tables that serve as sets and seats and props. Once the lights went down, I was bohemian, I was alive, I was there in New York City with Mark and Roger in the mid-90s.

The production gripped me. The cast was phenomenal. The actress playing Joann needs to be doing bigger and better things--her voice should be winning her Grammys. She was THAT good. As always I wanted to marry Mark; the guy playing him was adorable and slightly neurotic and dorky and lovable. Roger was good, but he got great during "Good-bye Love" where the audience saw him go from grief to aggitated to full-on pissed off in ten seconds flat. His microphone went out during the confrontation with Mark, but it wasn't necessary because he was screaming by that point. It. Was. Awesome.

My only complaint from the entire play was MiMi. She was just...ick. Her voice was shaky. A voice cannot be shaky for this character! (And I realize that I've reached my maximum dork potential in this moment. Shut up.) Grr. Blech. She wasn't good.

Even MiMi's bleating voice couldn't get my spirits down though. Overall, the play was incredible. I got misty-eyed during the first act, which turned into full-out sobbing by "Seasons of Love" after the intermission. I walked out the theater feeling as people must feel after a great church service. I felt invigorated and ready to take on the world with a new (or refound) lease on life. No day but today never rang truer. And that is why I needed this goal on my list.

#88: travel by train

2006-05-11T21:18:00.001-07:00

"I thought that it'd be romantic. That there'd be a piano and candlelight."
~ Carrie Bradshaw, on traveling by train

I agree with Carrie. When I think of traveling by train, I imagine late-night rendevous, meeting strangers and adventure. And I picture all of the adventures and rendevous happening in a grainy sepia-colored tone, too. Hmm.

Joe and I embarked on an adventure to Chicago one cold weekend late in January. I didn't want to drive through hellacious Chicago traffic, so we decided to travel by train. I was excited--riding in a sleek, fast cable car would be fabulous, dahling!

Or...not. Like Carrie, when she soon discovered how un-romantic modern-day trains are, I soon found myself in my own episode of "Life with Krissy" where trains were late, I was freezing, people were obnoxiously loud while yapping on cell phones and Joe nic-fitted so bad that he nearly morphed into a bitch. Luckily we arrived unscathed and Joe happily reunited with his pack of cigarettes.

The ride back was much more comfortable. We made a friend and I got schooled on how to play Texas Hold-em while we gambled with Skittles. Not quite candlelight and piano, but a good modern-day equivalent. And a good way to check off a goal.

#88: travel by train

2006-05-11T21:18:00.000-07:00

#54: own a shirt that has the word “dork” on it

2006-04-28T11:16:00.000-07:00

Yessssssssssss!!!!

#48: find the quintessential black dress

2006-03-13T17:25:00.000-08:00

Every girl needs a perfect black dress. One that can be dressed up with great shoes and earrings or dressed down with flats and tights. One that could stop a guy in his tracks and render him speechless. A dress that makes a girl feel like a goddess.

Until January 26, 2006, I had no such dress.

I was determined to find one, though. For I had a hot date with my gay fiance' at a five-star restaurant followed by an evening with Sheryl Crow. I needed to find the dress.

Four hours, three malls, two department stores, two suburban malls and a handful of unimpressed salesgirls later, I emerged from a dressing room triumphant. Joe grinned when he saw me in it. My reflection beamed. And when I paired it with fishnets, rockstar-goddess stilletos and starlet makeup, it made even the most man-loving man stop and pant a little.

Mission accomplished.

#10: learn how to knit

2006-02-26T15:25:00.000-08:00

Rumor has it that needle-work keeps your mind sharp and your hands nimble. Or so all the little old grandmas say. I love the look of homemade scarves and having conquered (and I use that term VERY loosely) crocheting, I set my sights on knitting. The click of the knitting needles called to me.

Luckily, I have a knitting queen as a friend. My darling co-worker Cindy is the goddess of the yarn. She knits all the time and is even so into the craft that she spins her own yarn. She's knitted key pieces of her wardrobe. I just wanted to learn to make a scarf.

One cold January evening, we curled up on a couch. Cindy taught. I tried. She taught again. I fumbled. She showed me her techniques. I muttered under my breath. And then? I got it. And knitted a six inch square by the end of the night.

Glee!

#16: buy a new digital camera

2006-02-13T22:51:00.000-08:00

Pop quiz: You know it's time for a new camera when....

a.) you put fresh batteries in and after taking not a dozen pictures later, it dies.
b.) it's lag time is close to a half a minute, leaving you helpless, frustrated and pissed as you try to capture drunken moments of hilarity and priceless karaoke moments of entertainment, but can't because it takes SO long for each picture to process and store.
c.) you go to turn it off and the lens doesn't retract, leaving the camera frozen and unable to take pictures because of a "focus error", where the only way to fix it is to smack it repeatedly against the heel of your hand...or the wall if you're extra frustrated.
d.) all of the above.

I loved my first digital camera. The little fujifilm that could, though, suddenly...couldn't. It still snapped pictures, but I wasn't impressed. It's at least a three-year-old model, so whenever I saw any new camera, I grew envious.

The green meanie left, on January 20th, when after two weeks of online research, countless trips to American and endless houndings of the salesmen, I purchased a Nikon Coolpix 7900. With lithium battery! And huge memory card! And the possibilities--they are endless! Portraits! Nightscape! Fireworks and party modes!Quick action! Eeee!

Now, I just owe American credit card companies my uterus or first-born child. But at least I have this sa-weet camera in exchange.

I'm not dead...and neither are the goals.

2006-02-03T23:29:00.000-08:00

Quite the contrary, really. A lot of goals have been crossed out since I last regaled you with my tale of, uh, my last accomplished goal. I'm just lazy. I really have no excuse. But stay tuned! More goal-telling tales to come!

#81: add Bride and Prejudice and two other musicals to my DVD collection

2006-01-09T10:09:00.000-08:00

Over the holidays, my DVD collection grew in fabulous ways. My mom gave me Grease and The Sound of Music (one of my favorite movies EVER) for Christmas. Essentially, she handed me goal #81; all I had to do was purchase Bride and Prejudice, which I've been dying to buy since I saw the opening musical sequence for the first time.

And now, all three fantastic movies are snuggled safely into my DVD collection and I can't get the songs from the movies out of my head.

Life is good.

#60: send out holiday cards to the people I care about

2005-12-28T20:27:00.000-08:00

Alright, so I was almost done with this goal two weeks ago. I was all smug because I sent out nearly two dozen cards to my closest friends. And then Christmas Eve came and it dawned on me--I didn't give cards to my mom or Joe. Doh!

So those cards? Are happily on the way to their destinations as of this morning. And thus, I put the capper on goal #60.

PS: I apologize for the anti-climaticness of this entry. I wrote out cards and sent them. It's a pretty open and shut goal. The hardest thing for me to do was purchase the stamps--it took a twenty minute wait in line to secure cute holiday stamps. My life is so harsh.

#37: get a pet other than a fish

2005-12-27T20:13:00.000-08:00

A big thanks goes out to Katy for helping me accomplish this goal. On Christmas Eve I received the cutest little creature that has ever walked the face of this planet. And, oh, how I love him....

Mr. Big, the new man (and pet!) in my life. He so kicks the butt off of all of the fish and other pets that came before him!

#61: See a movie four or more times

2005-12-19T22:30:00.000-08:00

So originally this goal was to see a movie in the theater five times because I've seen movies multiple times. The most I'd thought I'd seen a movie was four times with Titanic, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I'd only seen that three times. Like my mom would let me go to a movie more than two or three times. "It's a waste of money." Blah blah.

With this new realization, the goal has been slightly altered. Thus, the goal became to see a movie four or more times.

And now, this goal is accomplished with the amazingly heart-warming/heart-wrenching RENT. I saw it for the fourth time a couple of weeks ago. And again--bawled like a baby. Because I'm cool like that. And because another goal has been accomplished.

Yay moi! And? No day but today.

Progress on #51 and #61

2005-12-11T21:29:00.000-08:00

So goal #51 of watching three documentaries, three independent films and fifty movies from the IMDB top 250 list is going to be a bit of a challenge because, uh, that's a lot of DVD watching. Luckily I've already started to tackle it by renting Mad Hot Ballroom, so one documentary down, two more to go. Ballroom was a bit hard for me to get into at first because there was a lot of jumping between the schools, but about fifteen minutes into it, I was hooked and was cheering for each student by the end. It was inspiring and uplifting. And now? I want to learn to ballroom dance.

I need to clarify #51, too. When I was looking through the list, I realized I've seen a lot of the movies. My original goal was to watch fifty new movies, but I've seen a good quarter of them already. So instead, I'll allow myself to watch movies that I've seen, but not more than once. For example, I can watch American Beauty, any of the Lord of the Rings or Star Wars movies or Fight Club because I've only seen those each once. But I can't watch Run Lola Run, Garden State or Monty Python and the Holy Grail because I've watched them multiple times. This is good because I've been dying to see American Beauty and Fight Club again.

And speaking of watching movies multiple times...I'm one time away from completing goal #61. I saw RENT for the fourth time on Thursday night and bawled just as hard as the previous times. It's just such a moving experience for me. I can hardly explain it, except to say that something has never spoken to me like this has. It just sums up everything that I think about life and love. I can't wait to go a fifth time.

Goal #46: Go to a movie by myself

2005-12-04T21:35:00.000-08:00

My first goal is accomplished! Insert happy dance here.

Me, myself, I and Shopgirl. I've been dying to see it since I first heard they were filming it. Of course, in true Marquette fashion, it took two months for the film to get here. But the waiting was worth it. By the end? There were a couple of tears. The script closely followed the book, which didn't surprise me since Steve Martin wrote them both. He did a great job as Ray; Jason Bateman was so lovable. Claire Danes blew me away. Mirabelle is such a complex character and she just embodied her.

The best part of the evening, though? (Besides the Red Vines, I mean.) I had the theater all to myself. Just me and Steve, Claire and Jason. Yum. Thank you, Marquette, for being divinely uncultured, for it allowed me to have a great evening and also accomplish one of my 101 goals.

101 in 1001

2005-12-03T19:17:00.000-08:00

The Mission: Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.
The Criteria: Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Start date: December 1, 2005
End date: August 28, 2008

101 Things to do in 1001 Days

1. bowl while drunk
2. read at least three Jane Austin books
3. see Rent on stage…again
4. watch at least three Audrey Hepburn movies
5. see John Mayer in concert again
6. return to England
7. get down to a healthy weight
8. attain muscular arms ala Madonna
9. apply for grad school
10. learn to knit (accomplished 1/14/2006)
11. learn to do a strip tease
12. learn to play the guitar
13. write at least one essay a week for two months straight
14. become un-addicted to caffeine for three months
15. learn to make cheesecake, death by chocolate cake and oatmeal raisin cookies
16. purchase a new digital camera (accomplished 1/20/06)
17. start to learn a new language
18. host a fondue party
19. pay off my credit card bills
20. learn to drive manual transmission
21. scrap one layout a day for two weeks straight…if not more
22. compile a list of fifty favorite movies and fifty favorite CDs
23. have my tarot cards read
24. start taking a multivitamin
25. get a tattoo with my sister
26. build a classic yet semi-funky wardrobe that will be suitable for both work and play
27. watch every episode of Seinfeld and Friends
28. vacation in a warm or exotic area with some of my closest friends
29. return to Disney World
30. learn to grill properly
31. spend a day at the spa
32. kiss in the rain
33. purchase my own diamond ring
34. do something special for my 25th birthday
35. see Dane Cook perform live
36. attend my high school reunion
37. get a pet other than a fish (accomplished on 12/24/05)
38. keep a plant alive
39. ask someone out
40. cook a four-course meal for my closest friends and family
41. read and work through The Artist’s Way
42. purchase at least six CDs I wouldn’t normally buy (ie: rap, country, classical, big band…)
43. purchase one spectacularly expensive purse (like a Chanel or Kate Spade)
44. study for the GRE
45. take the GRE
46. go to a movie by myself (accomplished on 12/04/05)
47. build a gingerbread house
48. find that quintessential little black dress (accomplished on 1/26/06)
49. donate to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital
50. reunite with Miss Allen to perform the greatest rendition of “Holding Out for a Hero” ever
51. watch three documentaries, three independent movies and fifty movies from the IMDB movie list
Documentaries:
- Mad Hot Ballroom
52. go to gay days at Cedar Point with Joe
53. read Live From New York: An Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live
54. own a shirt that has the word “dork” on it
55. own a “boys are stupid” shirt
56. go to Canada
57. play laser-tag and/or paintball
58. learn to cook a pot roast, leg of lamb and prime rib
59. figure out how to make my mom’s amazing spaghetti sauce
60. send out holiday cards to the people I care about (accomplished on 12/28/05)
61. see a movie in the theater four or more times (the most I’ve ever seen one in the theater is three...I think...with Titanic) (accomplished on 12/08/05)
62. purchase an iPod or iPod mini
63. bid and win an eBay auction
64. write to my government representatives
65. cook all my meals for a week (no restaurants or fast food)
66. compliment at least one person every day for a month
67. submit at least one of my essays to at least one magazine
68. find and purchase a fantastic pair of candle sticks
69. decorate my apartment with some of my best photos from my London/Paris trip
70. travel to Vegas
71. learn to play Dance Dance Revolution well
72. give up drinking for three months
73. give up meat for a week…or at least three days
74. send out a message in a bottle
75. go three days without the internet on purpose
76. visit every art gallery in Marquette
77. own the RENT bible
78. volunteer for something I believe in
79. read at least one non-fiction book a month for a year
80. backup my hard-drive
81. add Bride and Prejudice and two other musicals to my DVD collection (accomplished 12/20/05)
82. build an emergency fund of at least $2,500
83. develop a work-out routine that I stick to for eight straight weeks at least
84. move out of the UP
85. write a fan letter and mail/email it
86. attend an opera
87. stop swearing for a week
88. travel by train
89. go on a cruise with my mom
90. run a mile without stopping, pausing or gasping for breath
91. watch more CNN
92. own all six seasons of Sex and the City
93. go one full day without complaining once
94. stop using the word “like”
95. start on career path
96. fast for a day
97. drink 8 glasses of water a day for at least two weeks straight
98. throw a non-birthday party for me and all of my friends
99. go on a vacation by myself
100. learn to take better pictures
101. ride in a limo